Listen to a story 'bout a man named Jim
Rich country lawyer with dreams of Washington.
Said to his family, I'm gonna run for Congress.
Then started out on his career as a louse.
Hypocritical bastard, that is.
Lying prick, opportunist.
Next thing you know, Jim he's the nominee.
Told Iowa voters he was for the family.
Made a commercial with his Down Syndrome daughter.
Then cheated on his wife with an aide who was hotter.
Family Values, that is.
Jim won in November and he traveled to DC.
Found other Republicans that acted just like he.
Then his mistress told him she had some bad news.
She was knocked up, so his wife he had to lose.
Deadbeat Dad, that is.
Jim wasn't worried cause he already managed to win.
The incumbancy advantage means it'll never have to end.
But what Jim didn't know is that people were watching.
And someone with some balls was a gonna come a-knockin'.
We can only hope that someone will take the family values plank out of this trouserstain's platform and beat him to political death with it.