Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Elections and the Intellectually Lazy

As a curve-bustin', co-ed oglin', preppie killin', non-trad university student, I get access to that study in minimal competence, the university newspaper. It's about as good Tuesday morning shitter reading as your likely to find.

So I'm reading the obligatory "You ought to vote" article. And what do I see? A quote from some graduate student who says that she's not going to vote because she's only seen the negative ads.

To which I say, "What the fuck are you babbling about?"

If you don't want to vote, at least be honest about it. Just say, "I'm not going to vote because I can't be bothered to take advantage of the hundreds of computers on campus to become at least marginally informed." Or you could say, "I'm not going to vote because I'm too intellectually lazy." Or even, "I'm not going to vote because I'm an irresponsible twit." Or even, "I'm not going to vote because voting is for losers."

But for the love of pete, don't blame the candidates and their ads.

Fuck the negative ads. Politics has been a bloody, nasty business since the first cavemen got together to figure out who decides which direction to hunt in. And I'll guarantee you that we'd find cave drawings showing a caveman fucking an elk.

Get over it. You have access to all the information you could possibly need to make a decision. Take a couple of hours and look it over. Form an opinion, get your lazy ass to the polls and vote. I don't give a shit who you vote FOR. Just vote.

And if you can't be bothered to make the effort to become informed, then maybe you should just stay home. But don't tell me that it's the candidates fault.

Monday, October 25, 2004

A Poor Republican is Like a Christian Satanist

I had an interesting discussion with some friends this weekend. As it usually does, the conversation drifted from one topic to another and didn't seem to have any direction. One of the interesting questions that came up was "Why do poor people vote for Republicans?"

I have to admit, to a rational person it makes no sense whatsoever. Why would the Republicans get one single vote from a group of people they systematically screw at every opportunity?

Make no mistake, the Republicans screw the poor and middle class every time. If their in a good mood, they MIGHT supply the K-Y in the form of a couple of crumbs. For instance, the $300.00 bribe that Bush used to buy your vote last time. While his tax plan gave hundreds of thousands of dollars in tax rebates to the rich, the average family got less than a dollar a day AND they had to declare that $300.00 as income for the year.

So why does anyone who makes less than say $100,00.00 a year vote for a Republican?

Turns out it's a simple answer, really. Ignorance.

The undeclared Republican War on Education has borne fruit. Fruit in the form of ignorant rednecks and creationist nincompoops who really, truly believe that they got it right, no matter how wrong they are. Like my grandfather used to say, "They aren't half as smart as they think they are."

I bet it can be shown by facts and figures that a poor republican shares a couple of common traits. First, their christian. Not necessarily fundamentalists, but christians who have been trained from an early age to ignore the evidence if it disagrees with what they were told by the preacher. Of course they haven't worked out the whole inquisitive thing. They just don't know any better.

Second, they are delusional when it comes to money and wealth. They're the ones that tell themselves that it's better to be happy than rich. They're also the idiots that can't seem to break out of the hand to mouth cycle. (I make around half of the official poverty level, and yet I have managed to save thousands of dollars.) As a result, they have no clue as to how taxation affects income levels. (hint: It greases the wheels of the economy. The lower the taxes, the less grease available to make things run smoothly.)

Third, a seriously overblown obsession about (x) issue. Guns, Abortion, Taxes, etc. Generally, the obsessive ones are the christians because they have no ability to question what they're told. So they just clamp onto whatever issue affects their hobby (guns) and don't let go. They lack perspective. These are generally the type that if Christ himself came down and told them not to vote for Bush, they'd spit on him and call him a damned hippie.

Anyway, that's what I think.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Time keeps on tickin', tickin', tickin' into the future.

Where the hell did all the time go? I started back at work a couple of weeks ago and now I don't seem to have any time left. I go to class, go home, maybe take a minute to check in on the web, go to work, come home and study. Before I know it, it's late and I still don't have everything done.

I don't remember this drill to be so time consuming.

And how come programmers who write how-to websites always try to teach new programmers by using advanced language?

Makes no sense.

That's the gripe of the day, folks. Don't like it, go piss up a rope.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Survey Says . . . They STILL Don't Get It

This weekend, I blogged what I thought about the Jon Stewart appearance on CrossFire, aka The Primate Habitat of CNN. And doing what partisan hacks do best, they responded.

Did they respond by pointing out how wrong Mr. Stewart was about their show? Wouldn't that be what credible "journalists" do?

Are you fucking kidding me? C'mon.

This is what they had to say:

NOVAK: Let me say something about Jon Stewart. I don't think he's funny. And I know he's uninformed.

No Bob, let's not address his POINTS, let's just attack him on a personal level. Besides, I've been subjected to you for years via newspaper columns and whatnot, and let's just say that recognizing humor isn't really your strong point. Kind of like a blind man criticizing the Mona Lisa.

What does ol' Jimmy "The Triangulator" Carville have to say?

CARVILLE: Well, I think he's funny. I just think he's a pompous ass attacking Ted Koppel. Why would you want to attack somebody that's been in this business this long? Attack CROSSFIRE, Tucker, me. Who cares?

Hey Little Jimmy, what's with the defense of Ted Koppel? If I recall, Ted wasn't mentioned in his segment on CrossFire. Unless you know what he was getting at and you would just as soon avoid it than take a chance of losing your job over it.

Let's not leave out ol' Bob "The Plamester" Novak's final shot:

NOVAK: Because he's uninformed. Because he's uninformed.

There is the crux of the problem, Monsieur Novak. Your job is to INFORM people. Your job is not to let people reach a conclusion by pulling information in from 15 different sources. Your JOB is to furnish the facts in such a way as to not REQUIRE so much shopping around.

Instead of doing THAT job, you and the CrossFire monkeys just editorialize on what's going on. To hell with facts and figures. Who needs that shit anyway?

Of course, you'd all have to get new jobs because all four of you aren't actually capable of reporting the news as it is.

Monday, October 18, 2004

God's Revenge or Head Cold Day II

I hate getting sick. Thankfully I'm pretty resistant to it, but every once in a while one of those little bugs breaks through my immunity system and makes me miserable for a couple of days.

I decided to extend my weekend by at least one more day because of it. Now many people reading this will say, "How can you miss work?" Easy, the same way I can miss classes. I always get annoyed at people who don't have enough sense to dial it back when they get sick. I especially get annoyed at people who insist on gracing everyone else with their presence when they get sick.

I prefer to be sensible and respectful of other people when I get sick. I don't make things worse by running around in the cold and windy morning and I respect my co-workers and boss by not exposing them to my misery and/or causing other people to miss work because of it.

It's a sad pathology in this country that we are somehow cheating somebody if we don't go to work, even for legitimate reasons like sickness.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Oh dear, god gave me a head cold!!

No he didn't. I just came into contact with a cold virus somewhere and it took. Just chalk it up to bad luck, I guess.

So I'm going to go back to bed, drink some water, eat those Halls Defense lozenges like they were M&M's and read "The Prisoners of Nambu". If I get bored I can always turn to my brand new copy of "Complete Essays of Mark Twain".

Anyway, I may be back if I get really bored, but not likely. And until next time . . .

Keep your unit on ya.

Stay tuned for today's Sunday Service Announcement.

If you get sick, it's not god punishing you. It's just a virus or some sort and bad luck. No god required.

This Sunday Service announcement has been brought to you by me.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Caught in the Crossfire

Do you think that when Jon Stewart signed up for the Daily Show that he would be forced into the role of media crusader? If he did, would have actually taken the job?

Last Friday, Mr. Stewart did an episode of Crossfire and gave the two partisan hacks, Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson, the beat-down that they've so richly deserved all these years. It was glorious and Jon Stewart should get some kind of award for it.

The saddest part about it was that the Crossfire crew couldn't even BEGIN to understand what the hell he was talking about. Even to the point that Carlson kept trying to compare their show to the Daily Show. They've gotten so wrapped up in their little "elite media club" that they have completely lost track of their role as journalists. They aren't journalists and Crossfire isn't a debate show. It's a half hour political ad where four partisan hacks play dueling talking points. There's nothing thoughtful going on with that show. And anyone who thinks it needs to remove their head from their lower intestine.

To paraphrase the Bard, "Crossfire is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Holy spokesmodel Batman!!

A few months ago, I saw a commercial for a new e-commerce site called

Of course, I have no interest in buying from them, but I couldn't help but notice the woman who was making the pitch. Wow, there is just something about her that is, how do you say, ah yes, alluring.

Don't believe me, take a look at the commercials

Anyway, I tucked her away into my little private file in my head. Then a few weeks ago, I see the other commercial. So I finally get off my tuckus and find out who she is. Apparently she has become the newest internet princess.

Her name is Sabine Ehrenfeld. A model/actress that is threatening to break big because of the Overstock commercials. She's also threatening to fuel the dreams of uncounted men for the next few months, at least.

Thanks to The Churn for his unwitting complicity in this post.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Bad Blogger! Bad, Bad Blogger!!

Ya hey dere, folks.

When I started this blog a month or so ago, I had every intention of posting regularly. Once a day at the very least.

And now, a month later . . .

So what happened? Well, I could blame it on work and school. I could blame it on my girlfriend. I could blame it on the rain. But the truth is that I apparently don't have that much of importance to say. At least nothing I feel is important enough to write down anyway.

So there goes the noble ambition of writing a well-thought out, meaningful essay each day on a variety of topics. We will miss you, noble ambition.

Instead I'm just going to do this. Freestylin' and profilin' with whatever crosses my mind. And if a kernel of wisdom spews forth from time to time, so be it. And if anything REALLY needs to be commented on, I'll do that too.

Hope you enjoy the new content. Not that there is anyone actually reading this tripe.